Oh Hey!
"Back up in this thang, issa woah!" or whatever the hell the song said.
Blogger! My baby!
It's been sooooooo long and I've missed you.
I tell you, blogging on here randomly crossed my mind a few days, maybe weeks ago when I was thinking about only heavens know what. Then today when I was going through my episode (which I'll tell you about later), I thought about this blog. I don't know what it was or is, but I feel like it's my spirit telling me to come back to my roots. In hind sight I probably should have never left this for the prettier version. I wanted to expand and create a different look and feel to what I had going on over here. I might go back over there but for now, hi friend!
I have been going THROUGH the motions honey!
Historically it happens every year, with some moments not as dramatic as the others. As such, this current wave I'm riding is fairly chill compared to oh say tsunami's from four, five years ago. Regardless, I've been going through it and that's why I'm here.
From the top!
It's been three years and some change since I moved back to NYC. A lot has happened in those three change years, naturally. For all three years though I've had some major breakthroughs, made some good decisions and progressed fairly well. However, last year saw me tired and desperate to change my life. I was working a job that I did not like anymore because I felt like I was wasting my time and my intelligence doing menial work. I was doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. Seeing the same people and dealing with their dumb asses over and over and over and over and OVER again!
Frankly I was *thiiiiiiiis* close to losing it. I did lose it a little, now that I think about it. Anyway, in the middle of it all, a bitch finally caught a break. YAAS! See, I had a friend who had a friend, and that friend got me something great. Like I said, I was desperate to get out of that seemingly never ending cycle, so I was willing to try anything that might help just a tups. Long story short, I quit my job and did the thing my friend's friend got me. It was good stuff. I learned something new and I learned a lot about myself and who I am and all that good stuff. So, if everything went well for what it was, what's the problem???
The problem is, I'm still where I was when I started. (Liiiiiiiike) In my head and my heart bitch, I was supposed to have had this one major occurrence happen already. This thing happening was to kick off all of my goals for 2020 and beyond sis. This thing was to have had me out in these cold crusty New York streets flourishing.
But no.
That's not what happened and it's one of the reasons why I've been so overwhelmed. I've been a lean, mean and grumpy machine for months, and more so these last few weeks and I'm tired!
My latest reality check has me feeling like I'm stuck from all angles. I try to find solutions to my problems, but I always come up short. Now, from what I've seen it's because usually the way to solve problem A, is with Solution A. However, Solution A just so happens to be problem B, and solution B is problem C...
...And on and on it goes until I'm out of moral options. So that's why it feels like everywhere I turn I'm running into all of the walls. I have yet to find the one solution that dominoes into everything else.
Actually, the one thing that has me so stressed out is the solution to pretty much all of my current problems. So I don't know if you can now understand my frustrations!
Things can definitely change for me at any given time and this *thing* I've been waiting and working on can and will still happen. My question to the universe though is WHENNNNNNNNNN??????
It's hard to remain optimistic and hopeful when the days are just flying by and nothing is happening. It's hard to keep going when it feels like everything is a major waste of time. Like, why bother? But as much as I'm over it, I'm stilling holding on to a little piece of faith that everything is gonna work out. And its gonna work out better than I initially expected or even hoped for.
That's it. That's my story. I was overwhelmed with all of my problems and I crashed as always when shit hits the fan heavy.
I feel better after all of that.
To be honest, I miss writing. I miss having the words flow from my fingertips onto the screen. I'll tell you, I had another random thought about writing a book. I have several ideas for novels, but the one that sticks out the most is the one about my life. It's not an autobiography, but an actual story about a girl who just happens to have lived and been through the same things as I have. It's a fun book I promise lol. Maybe one day I'll actually write it and become a freaking NYTimes best seller, and sell millions and millions of books from that one story about my trying young life. And I'll come back here and read this post and just cry!
Oh! How I can dream. Nothing is impossible, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what is in store for me.
I'm putting this out into the universe with good vibes and with all the good intentions I have. I look to receive great news surrounding all that I have talked about and then some.
I claim it!
I receive it!
It is mine!
Dana
Blogger! My baby!
It's been sooooooo long and I've missed you.
I tell you, blogging on here randomly crossed my mind a few days, maybe weeks ago when I was thinking about only heavens know what. Then today when I was going through my episode (which I'll tell you about later), I thought about this blog. I don't know what it was or is, but I feel like it's my spirit telling me to come back to my roots. In hind sight I probably should have never left this for the prettier version. I wanted to expand and create a different look and feel to what I had going on over here. I might go back over there but for now, hi friend!
I have been going THROUGH the motions honey!
Historically it happens every year, with some moments not as dramatic as the others. As such, this current wave I'm riding is fairly chill compared to oh say tsunami's from four, five years ago. Regardless, I've been going through it and that's why I'm here.
From the top!
It's been three years and some change since I moved back to NYC. A lot has happened in those three change years, naturally. For all three years though I've had some major breakthroughs, made some good decisions and progressed fairly well. However, last year saw me tired and desperate to change my life. I was working a job that I did not like anymore because I felt like I was wasting my time and my intelligence doing menial work. I was doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. Seeing the same people and dealing with their dumb asses over and over and over and over and OVER again!
Frankly I was *thiiiiiiiis* close to losing it. I did lose it a little, now that I think about it. Anyway, in the middle of it all, a bitch finally caught a break. YAAS! See, I had a friend who had a friend, and that friend got me something great. Like I said, I was desperate to get out of that seemingly never ending cycle, so I was willing to try anything that might help just a tups. Long story short, I quit my job and did the thing my friend's friend got me. It was good stuff. I learned something new and I learned a lot about myself and who I am and all that good stuff. So, if everything went well for what it was, what's the problem???
The problem is, I'm still where I was when I started. (Liiiiiiiike) In my head and my heart bitch, I was supposed to have had this one major occurrence happen already. This thing happening was to kick off all of my goals for 2020 and beyond sis. This thing was to have had me out in these cold crusty New York streets flourishing.
But no.
That's not what happened and it's one of the reasons why I've been so overwhelmed. I've been a lean, mean and grumpy machine for months, and more so these last few weeks and I'm tired!
My latest reality check has me feeling like I'm stuck from all angles. I try to find solutions to my problems, but I always come up short. Now, from what I've seen it's because usually the way to solve problem A, is with Solution A. However, Solution A just so happens to be problem B, and solution B is problem C...
...And on and on it goes until I'm out of moral options. So that's why it feels like everywhere I turn I'm running into all of the walls. I have yet to find the one solution that dominoes into everything else.
Actually, the one thing that has me so stressed out is the solution to pretty much all of my current problems. So I don't know if you can now understand my frustrations!
Things can definitely change for me at any given time and this *thing* I've been waiting and working on can and will still happen. My question to the universe though is WHENNNNNNNNNN??????
It's hard to remain optimistic and hopeful when the days are just flying by and nothing is happening. It's hard to keep going when it feels like everything is a major waste of time. Like, why bother? But as much as I'm over it, I'm stilling holding on to a little piece of faith that everything is gonna work out. And its gonna work out better than I initially expected or even hoped for.
That's it. That's my story. I was overwhelmed with all of my problems and I crashed as always when shit hits the fan heavy.
I feel better after all of that.
To be honest, I miss writing. I miss having the words flow from my fingertips onto the screen. I'll tell you, I had another random thought about writing a book. I have several ideas for novels, but the one that sticks out the most is the one about my life. It's not an autobiography, but an actual story about a girl who just happens to have lived and been through the same things as I have. It's a fun book I promise lol. Maybe one day I'll actually write it and become a freaking NYTimes best seller, and sell millions and millions of books from that one story about my trying young life. And I'll come back here and read this post and just cry!
Oh! How I can dream. Nothing is impossible, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what is in store for me.
I'm putting this out into the universe with good vibes and with all the good intentions I have. I look to receive great news surrounding all that I have talked about and then some.
I claim it!
I receive it!
It is mine!
Dana
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